Curiously Normal

Holidays, Get-Togethers, and Birthdays

2010-12-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

Man, this blog is neglected. I've been meal planning, cleaning, crafting and waiting for baby. We have had Thanksgiving, Hubby's birthday, the start of our very first Hanukkah and are watching Little Bean's due date come and go as I type. Family has been here and left and will come again, and shortly after Christmas will be a reunion. Life is crazy and amazing.

Also amazing is the fact that I have been laptop-less for a few months now. No matter what I do, it always seems like one breaks or breaks down just at the most inopportune time. As I sit here on a kitchen chair at my dekstop, I'm seriously wondering how I will keep up with everything once baby comes. Editing, three blogs, photos of baby for family, staying in touch with the outside world as I re-enter one of nursing and diapers...I just don't think a kitchen chair and desktop will hold up to the task. At least not for about 6 weeks.

So yes, I am shamelessly drooling over this Tech Makeover at Blissfully Domestic, sponsored by the oh-so-generous Intel. I foresee staying up with the holiday season, my own working ventures and family/newborn connection obligations from the comfort of the living room recliner much better than trekking into the office every time I need to update someone on the cutest little bubble, slurp or smell that Little Bean has created.

Thank you, Blissfully Domestic, for hosting! Thank you, Intel, for sponsoring! Whoever winds up with this will certainly wind up with a happy holiday season and a very merry New Year.

Gratitude in Pictures

2010-08-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

Do I really need to list why I'm grateful for these guys? I'll give it a shot...

Big smiles


monster growls

cheesy laughs

Silly faces

...at least from us

bare toes

fishies

& more fishies

"Do it again!"

And lots of cuddles.

Summer Heat

2010-06-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

For three of the last five summers, I have been pregnant. The interesting thing is that, as a child, I did not sweat. I would go from "Hm, it's kind of warm," to death-dying-heatstroke without much in between. (Might be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. It wasn't fun.)

Pregnancy changed all of that, among other things. My face still doesn't sweat...but my belly must have a faucet on it somewhere. It's pretty disgusting, actually.

Anyway, the big question I get when I'm as big as a house in the middle of August is, "How do you deal with the heat?" Last time around? My son thought the only way to eat strawberries was in front of a box fan with your shirt pulled up over your belly.

I always thought I fared pretty well. This summer has me a bit worried. Before June is even over, we are having a heat wave that has my plants looking pouty and my kids not wanting to play outside.

Time to pop some grapes in the freezer, fill up the popsicle molds, water the plants after dark, hit up the thrift stores for summer maternity clothes and find some gratitude in it all.

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Snuggled babies, sleeping all night long
Little wiggles and kicks inside, entertaining me all morning long
Pepper plants enjoying the sun after waiting all spring long
Softball games in the dark and the cool and outside plans all evening long
Grocery shopping and meal planning to keep tummies full all day long
Quiet hours and mama-breaks all naptime long
Busyness and playful plans all summer long

Gone so quickly...

2010-06-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

Six months that we will never have back...six months where I didn't even notice I was gone from here. Six months..and how many things I could have been grateful for? Was I? So easy to let accountability slip by...

Reassurance that a blessing actually is
Life's life jackets when I'm going under
Second trimester, second chances
So many clothes to wash
Messes reflecting a playful house
Snuggles before the sun wakes up
Snuggles in the middle of the day
Quiet bumps inside, reminding me of my gift
Bad times flying, good times lingering
Home cooked dinners
One last junkfood trip...again
New ventures, old wisdom

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Most of my time since I left off here has been directed toward http://thepregnantvegetarian.com Come visit! :)

2010-01-14T12:05:00.001-08:00

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

This is my 2010.

This season is hard. I will look back with fondness and a smirk, but it will be past.

Returning...

2009-12-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

Priorities get so jumbled so fast. Frustrations take over, blinders go up...the longer I am away, the harder it is to return. Refocusing, relearning, returning...

My 15 month old gets it-

Thank you, Jesus, for the day. A-MEN!

My 39 month old gets it-

Thank you, Jesus, for the Mommy-people. Thank you for the Daddy-people. Thank you for the Izzy-people. Thank you for the Nate-people. Thank you for the Monsters. Thank you for the Aliens. Thank you for the wall. Thank you for the phone...

And we are supposed to be teaching them. Ha.

----------------------------------------------

-fuzzy hair standing on end after a bath
-requests for naptime
-surprise visits
-surprise provision
-quick lunches, healthy babies
-timely messages
-quiet reminders
-snuggles and snores
-renewed determination
-patience offered
-plans coming together
-ancient wisdom
-new perspectives
-new ventures
-new lives
-new mercies

Distracted

2009-12-03T12:30:00.000-08:00

New hobbies, old friends and young kids have stood in the way of me and my blogging ventures...but I'm not complaining. Just a note to add in my multitude of gratitude:

Two warm babies and too hot muffins
Big dreams and little snores
Soft tissues and tough toes
Teeth coming and phases leaving
Storytime and naptime
Mispronunciation "Wanna howd you bew-lly"
Clothes to mend and gifts to lend
Birthdays and vacation days
Pie and turkey
Turkey and pie
Brilliant minds and vegan "butter"
Community
Consistency
Chaos
Clean

gritting my teeth, looking for gratitude

2009-11-17T15:38:00.001-08:00

11. Boys who play so mommy can play

I am learning to knit in the round, particularly making socks. It's nice to be able to create, to busy my hands with soft fabrics and useful results.

12. Friends sharing tips, tricks and threads

It has been too long since I've just visited with mama friends. This one is chock full of knitting knowledge and shared some of her wisdom (and yarn!).

13. Second chances

No pretty pictures or profound encouragement in the afternoon here...just a broken mama with two tired (but napless) kids, missing the patience that must be buried somewhere beneath the tears and the tired and the torn...

14. Timing and safety

Trying to escape, reminded I'm not in control...

14. New tires, a good movie in the lobby
15. Babyhawk

The first movie all wee, .85 poptarts and .75 sprite, cuddled kiddo in the babyhawk...kept them content during the wait.

God, keep me content during the wait...

The Discipline of Gratitude

2009-11-16T08:45:00.000-08:00

On a dreary Monday morning, it's so easy to slip into melancholy mumbling.

My toes are cold.

I want to stay in bed.

The boys can't go out to play.

We won't be able to rake leaves to build our compost tonight.

As I play on the internet and put off my list of busy-ness, a quote at Ann's site jars me:

"Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic." - John Henry Jowett

And so, today I join the community of gratitude, shifting my eyes from the mud to the stars.

---

     1. Waking up snuggled warm
     2. An empty wall, heads full of dreams
     3. Growing boys, hungry tummies
     4. Asks instead of squeals
     5. My little pretend Knight
     6. My big Real Knight
     7. Shared Oatmeal
     8. Donated treasures
     9. God-made connections
     10. New hobbies, old knowledge

Guest Blogger

2009-11-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

I'd intended to write something deep and meaningful, but this guest photoblogger just insisted on sharing his work. Enjoy!

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My name is Johnathan Eric, but you can call me Nate.

-

This is Izzy-rael. He's just a baby.

-

This is Daddy.

-

Him and Mommy are making a compos' pile outside so we can grow food.

-

Mommy likes food.

-

So does Daddy.

-

We have worked...

...and worked...

...and worked.

-

We all help to get it done.

I like to take pictures.

-

I try to take pictures of Nate.

Sometimes it doesn't work.

Izzy-rael did it, though.

I just keep trying.

Until I get it right, I take pictures of my family...

What do YOU like to take pictures of? Say, GREEN!!

Boycotting Nestle? How about a nail in that coffin...

2009-11-03T20:37:00.000-08:00

By now, you are likely one of the thousands who have been following Jaeli's story either on Angela's site or on one of the sites (AOL, Reuters, Type-A-Mom or any number of others, even in Spanish!) that have spread like wildfire over the internet in the past few weeks. If not, the brief summary is this:

Jaeli is sick. Only three other human beings have this level of chromosome disorder. As such, she has many health problems, one of which that she is about five months old and weighs less than ten pounds. Her ultra-sensitive body has only tolerated breastmilk without serious "side effects"- or reactions, depending on how you'd like to define it. Unfortunately, high calorie breastmilk is not easy to come by, especially when State Medicaid refuses to cover it. (Apparently, government efficiency deems it better to pay for hospitalization, round-the-clock care and response to ~~reactions~~ side effects than to just purchase breastmilk...but, I digress)

After a series of trials of both the literal and figurative sort, Jaeli was sent home with a prescription of two doses Neocate, in spite of Jaeli's response to it, to one dose high calorie breastmilk. The benefits of a mother's milk for this little one cannot be ignored. Since that time, even this prescription has been questioned. The only substance on earth that does not cause this child pain is the only substance that powerful entities will not provide.

As concern spread that Jaeli would not have access to the $4.25/oz breastmilk that required up-front payment, people started to come forth. At first, we looked for a Medicaid exemption long-term and corporations to sponsor Jaeli short-term. After all, they can do more than any individual could possibly imagine, right?

Wrong.

The majority of requests went out to Nestle. As 70,000+ people were reached via Twitter in a matter of days, Nestle's twitter account and email account were flooded, as well. They have had some bad publicity lately, and a large segement of the population has boycotted them for some time. What better way to turn the tides than to openly back the claim that "breast is best"?

While Nestle remained silent, the people gave.

Some only had enough for an ounce- $4.25. Others decided to give Jaeli nourishment than spend hat $20 on a pizza. Still others came forward with more. Hundreds of individual donations poured in, and within forty-eight hours, Jaeli had milk for a week.

While Nestle contemplated, the people shared.

Jaeli's story spread all over the internet. A Facebook Cause was opened, Jaeli's Syndrom, and it quickly garnered over $1000 in donations, and the number continues growing. The single corporate influence in this to this point has been a donation of a pump and lactation consultant by Medela so that Jaeli's mom can work to increase her own milk supply. All other efforts were put forth by individuals. Everyone is talking about Jaeli. Even an up and coming artist is donating proceeds to Jaeli's cause.

Today, Nestle responded.

You might've received an email similar to this at about 3 PM EST:

I have been following the information about Jaeli and her sensitive condition. We hear from many parents about special situations and we treat each request with great concern and attention. I understand your request for our support in providing what Jaeli's parent(s) believe to be best for their baby. We empathize with the situation but need to respect the professional recommendation of Jaeli’s doctors who are closest to the situation and must have her best interest at heart. Our thoughts are with Jaeli and her family.

While I will spare you my general disdain for corporations and the medical "industry" as a partnering whole, I am sure that you feel the same condescension and callousness that I did when this hit my inbox. The implication is that the parents have blown this out of proportion; that they believe one thing to be the best when the medical community says another. Doctor knows best.

Nestle, with flippant ignorance, blindly assumes that a medical professional would not prescribe breastmilk (however "best" it may be), and if they did do so, that there should be no problem attaining it. They miss the fact that it was prescribed. They dismiss the fact that it has been given to her both on and off hospital premises. They conveniently ignore the fact that breastmilk is saving this little girl's life.

Imagine that. God-given sustenance over corporate-created synthetics.

And now, while Nestle disregards anyone who questions an imitation, I say we disregard Nestle. As I type this, Jaeli's account at the Ohio Milk Bank is increasing by more than $16,000. Individuals who see, individuals who care, individuals who sacrificially gave of their budget so that sacrificially given milk would make it to Jaeli's delicate little body.

This is Jaeli's story.

Sadly, Jaeli's story is not the only tragedy. Milk banks see this kind of dilemma every day. When a child is hurting, corporations and government bodies are not the be all end all solution. Many times, they don't even take note.

Jaeli's story speaks to the need for awareness and support of milk banks, but it shouts from the rooftops the need for and power of outreached arms. It is people reaching out to people who make the difference. Who is the Jaeli in your life? Who is reaching out for help while the powers that be brush them away?

A stitch in time (Dismantled Art)

2009-11-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

I called my mom this week...My machine was broken. The only machine that is worth anything.

My sewing machine.

The avocado green base gives you a hint that it's not new. Try to operate it, and you'll confirm those suspicions. Knobs sometimes come off, adjustments always have to be made, but it works.

I've never had a manual for it. I don't know how it is supposed to work or what each knob and trinket were intended to do. But, I can make it sew. That's all that matters, right?

So, when I had a problem that twisting and pulling could not fix, I had to call the previous owner. Mom told me what she always tells me..."That machine is so old. Aunt Nettie gave it to me when I was in college, and who knows how long she had it before you..." And even though she begins that way- giving up- we can't seem to let it go. "Try the bobbin tension." How? The same way I know to try- "Just twist it 'til it works."

It worked.

This weekend, I sat on my floor (my sewing desk of choice) and turned three discarded sweaters into warm woolen pants for my little guys. I wondered just how many times this machine was a vessel for improvisation. Recreation. Art. Beauty.

There is beauty in the discarded. Clothing too small, too old, too ugly for one...are the exact materials needed for the perfect fit, new and adorable clothing for another.

Babe gawked as I took a once-expensive Merino wool sweater, cut off all the seams and ran it through the washer and dryer. The less it looked like its original composition, the more useful it became to me. He couldn't see the ultimate creation when I had the pieces all laid out, but I could. I saw pants in the sleeves, belts in the ball of yarn, warmth in the scraps.

In the end, I have more than just new woolies. I realize that this is a picture of our own Creator. We are most useful, most beautiful, when we are dismantled. The less we look like our original selves, the easier it is to become what He wants of us. Sometimes, the machines he use are worn and unassuming, but He makes it all work together for good. And no matter who throws us away as unloved, He finds us a treasure.

There is beauty in the discarded. Sometimes, it just takes a bit of undoing.

Not Cinnabon, CinnaMOM!

2009-10-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

Oh, am I in trouble. These were way too easy and way too yummy to stay away from.

Our family has been celebrating Shabbat (Sabbath) on Friday evenings and Saturdays, and part of that is making Challah bread. This week, with the other half of my big bread recipe, I made these cinnamon rolls.

Gooey Vegan CinnaMOM rolls

Ingredients
One recipe Outrageously Easy Big Bread
About 1/2 cup sugar I used Turbinado
About 1/4 c butter I used coconut oil
A splash of liquid I used orange juice, but any kind of milk or yummy liquid would work, I think. Soy milk, rice milk, almond milk, silk nog (but if the technician testing your blood sugar asks, you didn't get that from me)
Cinnamon!

About 1 cup of powdered sugar I made mine by blending the Turbinado with 1 tbsp cornstartch. It powdered the sugar for me
A couple tbsp of liquid Same as above, it doesn't really matter what kind of liquid you use. I used OJ again.
Some cinnamon

Blend or mix your sugar, butter and liquid (and cinnamon..don't forget it like I did!). Blend the powdered sugar and liquid separately to make a thin icing and set it aside.

After your big bread recipe rises once, divide it into two loaves. Set aside one to make your Challah (or rolls, buns, a loaf, whatever you'd like) and press one out flat. the thickness really depends on how much of your goop you want in the rolls. So, naturally, I made mine pretty flat...about 1/2-1/4 inch thick. Then, take the mixture from the first set of ingredients (adjusted as necessary to make a pastey consistency) and spread it over your flattened loaf.

To keep from losing it all out the top or bottom, fold the edges up at the top and bottom before you roll. Also, as you roll it up, you might find it squishing the mixture out the back. I found it helpful to pick the top part up as I rolled it to keep from pressing the goo away.

Once you have one big roll, it's time to cut it! The trick is supposed to be dental floss, but I couldn't get it to work. I quit and used a knife. Mine were spaced about an inch or so apart.

Set them in a pan to rise again for about an hour. I found that a round cake pan worked really well. Before I baked them, I got paranoid that they wouldn't be sweet enough, so I sprinkled cinnamon, spread what remaining goop I could scrape out over the top, and sprinkled more cinnamon. I have no idea if it was necessary or not, but it sure didn't ruin them!

Set them in a preheated 325 degree oven for about 20 minutes, or until you can poke a knife in them to find that it is a bit fluffy/flaky inside.

As soon as it comes out, pour icing over the top of it.

I dare you to wait more than 5 minutes to dig into these. If you can, I'd like to know about it.

Gooey goopy delicious yumminess!

Chocolate Chili? What?! (Or, "Vegan Chili That No One Will Care Is Vegan")

2009-10-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

In the midst of a dreary Arkansas monsoon season, I've been craving soups and stews like nobody's business. Unfortunately, having had a rather Southern upbringing with regard to mealtime, I can't get past the basics: chicken noodle/dumplings and chili. Being mostly-Vegan with an aversion to tofu, the former is out. And with only celery from my staple carrots-celery-onions trio for all soups, I felt rather helpless.

So, the hunt began.

As I scoured recipes all over vegweb and google searches, one strange ingredient kept catching my eye in both vegan and omnivorous recipes: cocoa powder.

Yeah.

Supposedly, cocoa powder adds richness and color to your chili.

But, it's chocolate.

Still, random veggies in hand, I was determined to try it at least once. After all...good ol' Wally World is just down the road in case something were to go dreadfully wrong...

I wasn't sure about it as I chopped up non-chili veggies.

I wasn't sure about it when the sauteed mixture smelled like chocolate.

I wasn't sure about it when it looked...gross.

But then, it all came together.

Mind you, this was taken from my cell phone, but I'm telling you..the color was fantastic. It was perfectly...erm..chili-colored. Here is how I did it:

Ingredients
3-4 random veggies, chopped I used a zuchinni, a handful of mushrooms and a bell pepper
Some oil in a pan
A handful or so of cocoa powder
Some shakes of chili powder
A drizzle of hot sauce
Some shakes of Creole seasoning and seasoned salt
Garlic
1 small can of tomato paste
1 small can of tomato sauce
Another handful or so of cocoa powder
Bulgar wheat I used one cup (pre-cooked) then cooked with 2 cups of water, cooked just like rice

Cooked beans to preferred amount
More garlic, chili powder, salts and creole to taste

Directions
As you chop the last bit of your veggies, heat up the oil, first bit of cocoa powder, seasonings and hot sauce in a pan. When it's reasonably warm and you are done chopping, dump in your veggies. Let this sautee for a bit until it's starting to soften a little and your oil and cocoa is really turning into a paste. Then, add the tomato paste and sauce and the rest of the cocoa powder. If you'd like to season more here, go for it. It's really a lot like a thick pasta sauce at this point. The cocoa powder should be undetectable (surprise!) as chocolate, but it should darken the color of the sauce from what it would be otherwise.

When your bulgar wheat is cooked, dump it in with your chili sauce and mix it all up. This will almost look like there is ground meat in it.

When your beans are cooked and soft (I do this in a crock pot the day of the chili-making, but you could use frozen cooked beans or canned), fill up your soup pot. I filled mine around 3/4 full, but it's really your preference as to how much chili you want and how soup-y you want it to be. Mix in the sauce, and season to taste.

I'm telling you what...I will never make chili without cocoa powder again. (And seriously...warm, healthy comfort food + chocolate...how can you go wrong there?!)

Quiet times make me sleepy

2009-10-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

I am, admittedly, not a morning person. I don't really know why we should get up in the morning when there is plenty of perfectly good nighttime available to get things done.

That's probably why morning "quiet times" never worked for me. Up bright and early, before school or work, and I'm dozing. It shouldn't be surprising. No one is asking an early bird to get up at 10 PM from a perfectly good sleep, read a calming book and be quiet for awhile. They'd be snoring before "God said let there be..."!

Since having children, however, I'm not really a night owl, either. I'm pretty much just always ready for bed, especially when I nurse them to sleep in a dark room, cozy bed, warm blankets...Ahhh...

This has left me with a dilemma- when do I spend Jesus-time? My SBC background tells me "5 minutes a day, have that quiet time! Be holy- read your Bible every morning!" But, I don't always have 5 minutes. Even as I type this, kids are on and off my lap, looking at the computer, fingering my hair (surely that is the intent, not pulling), getting a quick mid-morning snack. If my time is quiet, it's because we are all asleep.

I've got to shake this up.

We aren't told to read once daily, pray over meals and be sure to be quiet until the egg timer goes off.

We are told to abide, told that prayer should never cease, told to live on every Word.

So, I walk with him throughout my day. Rather, He walks with me. I'm not always looking to Him. Head down, eyes on what's in front of me, patience trying to escape through every cracked window and open door. No matter if I sit still; He can make still my storm.

Thanks to Ann at Holy Experience for the reminder and encouragement. Join us! How do you Walk with Him?

Blogger Revival

2009-10-27T17:44:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've posted regularly...well, okay, I've never posted regularly. I guess I felt like I needed to post something profound for it to be worth reading. But then, that assumed that whatever I posted would be profound. Silly girl.

I've got two busy boys and a house full of laughs and cries and toys and creativity. Profound or not, it's worth recording. My recipes won't be exact; my writing won't be superb; my pictures won't be prize winners. But, they will be mine. If someone is blessed from the blessings I have been given, then it's worth the time taken to jot it down on my corner of the web.

And what does Adonai require of you?

2009-08-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

In the heart of the Scriptures, a concise little summary has been ringing in my mind. Micah, in true prophetic form, tells it like it is-

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Prophets don't pull any punches. Okay, boys and girls, let's review- what does Adonai require of you? It almost has to be in that tone. Not that it is condescending, but when we have the spiritual attention span of a two-year-old, some preschool repetition techniques seem to be in order. Incidentally, this tone is exactly what has held my attention.

At first glance, it seems so simple.

To act justly...Justice has become such a common word in our vocabularies. Social justice. Justice System. Justice League. I suddenly picture a guy in blue tights with a white powdered wig handing out food stamps. Really?

So often, we want to cling to "the administering of deserved punishment or reward" as the definition of justice. Really, life would be much easier if we were commanded to walk around admistering punishments.

Sadly for us as members of the Jesus-Justice league (but amazing for us as recipients!), this justice must be deeper. At the heart of justice and acting justly is being just- being right.
What is right about me yelling at my toddler for an infraction that he could hardly understand, let alone control, when my deliberate disobedience is met with sacrificial love and a gracious second chance? What is just about my smug reaction to a fellow person getting what they "deserve," when all I have been given has been unexpected, undeserved and unrepaid?

No; this justice is deeper. Oh, to offer the grace that was given to me. To even accept it would be a start.

To love mercy...It first struck me as odd that we had to be instructed (and reminded!) to love something, especially something as loveable as mercy. But, in light of the unjustified justice that is directed our way, mercy is rather intimidating. Punished wrongs and guilty consciences are so simple to accept, so much easier to live with. I want to earn my way, stumbles and all. No pain, no gain. Undeserved gifts are nice when they negate my shortcomings, but what of my success? Surely, there is something to this life that is my own.

How much more free would we be if not chained to the limitations of mortality? If every breath were of God- and we knew it and relished in it. How much more full would our lives be if not filled with the anxiety of our own abilities? If every action were a gift of mercy, and we were in awe of it? How much lighter would our hearts be if not burdened with the guilt of our past? If every beat began a new life, and we loved it?

To walk humbly with your God...If we are acting justly and loving mercy, humility seems a natural part of the deal. But this is more than ashen faces and prostrate bodies. This involves movement. This humility is not a crutch for inaction.

Until I accept justice to the point that I can administer it and understand mercy to the point that I can love it, I cannot walk before my God, much less with him. Without justice and mercy, I am lucky to get a whiff of His essence as he strolls by my hiding place where I crouch behind a fig leaf, searching for empty excuses.

His words have been twisted since that day in the garden, and they will until the day of his return. While he asks, "Come out so that we can walk together," I hear, "Come clean so you can cower before me." In reality, I should neither to raise my head in pride from my limited achievements or hide my face in shame of my many failures. He just wants me to walk with him.

As I watch my children explore new places, I am in awe of the innocence in their zeal for life. A broken picture frame was really a great throw in a bad place. A stained shirt was a great meal. A lost possession was an entrancing day of play. A hurt sibling was a poorly timed (but perfectly executed!) tackle.

It is not that our faults are to be condoned or permitted, but in our reactions to our own faults and those of others, we know what is good. And what does Adonai require of you? To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly before our God.

A word to conservatives.

2008-11-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

It is time for Christ-followers to live up to their name. Actually, it has always been time. The beauty of our government (ha! bet you never thought I'd say that!) is that it highlights our freedom of choice. We make the decisions for our country. The majority decides. We are where we are because we asked for it as a whole.

Now, I did not vote for Obama or McCain. Is it my fault that Obama won? Nope. Is it the McCain voters' faults? Nope. On the contrary, I have a better question.

Is Obama our only problem? Is he even our problem at all?

I know many Christians who prayerfully decided that Obama was the one to vote for. I know many more who decided that McCain was the one to vote for. While there were people who wholeheartedly believed in their candidate, in a lot of those cases, the decision was made because "He's not the other guy." In the McCain camp, it became easy to believe what we wanted to. He's pro-life. He's pro-country. He's the good guy. He's conservative. In the Obama camp, it became easy to believe what we wanted to. He's going to change our country for the better. He's going to lower taxes. He's going to improve our country in the eyes of the world. But, was any of it true? Maybe. Maybe not. I can think of a few things that aren't. McCain is not pro-life- check his voting record. A continued war is not pro-life (but that is another post intself). Abortion in any form is not pro-life. And why do you think he could "reach across party lines"? Because he's not conservative. As for Obama, well, we'll find out soon enough if he does what he says and how good it actually is.

The point is, and the underlying problem is, that we have settled.

This year, we have settled. It has become particularly evident that we let our TV sets decide for us. From the primaries on, we went with what we were told. Republicans voted for the lesser of two evils, even when there were multiple candidates to choose from. We voted for the "front runners" because "no one else has a chance." We compromised.

For years, we have settled. We have sat in our churches and prayed for revival, while doing nothing to change our own lives or the lives around us. We have begged God for mercy, for a change in our country, while doing nothing to facilitate it. We have moaned and complained as legislation after legislation tore down freedoms and compromised our beliefs, but we have done nothing to oppose them. We have wept as babies are aborted, but have done nothing to offer their mothers another choice. We have clicked our tongues as welfare programs expand and Medicare programs are drained, but have done nothing to help the poorest in our community start anew.

And so, the world took over.

Congress passes whatever they want to, knowing that we will keep silent. Planned Parenthood answered the cry of those women with an "easy" way out. The government took the money that you wouldn't give and put it where they saw fit. All the while, the name of Jesus has been relegated to church-talk instead of associated with the grace and love that should be shown every minute of every day of our lives.

Now, I could ask, "What if things had been different?" But the simple fact is that they are not. We are where we are. We can't expect godless people to make godly decisions. And we can't expect people to suddenly become godly when we do nothing but point fingers and groan.

Revival starts with you.

It's not you praying. It's not you weeping. It's you doing. It's you living. It's you being the follower of Christ that He prayed His blood out that you would be. It's you speaking up when things around you are falling apart. It's you making decisions based on what Jesus would be proud of, not what is "better than the other guy." It's you reaching out when you see a family on the streets. It's you offering a shoulder, a room and a way out when a mom sees no other option. It's you offering grace to the homosexual who is hurting and looking for something that he doesn't understand. It's you offering grace to the homosexual who doesn't see anything wrong with his actions. It is you writing Congress, speaking out in your community and keeping the government accountable for its actions. It is you thinking for yourself, with a Jesus filter over everything.

Listen to me, "Conservative Christians": It is NOT you looking down upon, speaking poorly of, degrading, demeaning, blaming or shunning the person who did not vote as you did.

It's not your neighbor. It's not the majority. It's not the other guy.
It is your job to follow Jesus.

Regardless of your political, economical, environmental, foreign or domestic policy beliefs, I think we can all agree that the moral fiber of this country- the genuine Christians- is deteriorating. You want this country to change? Stop begging God. He's been ready all along. He's offering it to us. It's been inches away, and we just won't pick up our hand and take it. It's getting further and further away, though, so we'd better get up now. Get out of your pews and stop begging for mercy. Get off of your butt and start seeking strength.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. - 2 Timothy 2:15

Have we gotten it backwards?

2008-11-03T12:03:00.000-08:00

For a lot of reasons, this song from church Sunday is stuck in my head. Particularly, the following line:

You said Your glory will fill the earth like water to seas

As I hummed it and my two-year-old jabbered along, it hit me: the seas are water. Without water, a sea becomes a desert. You don't look at a desert and call it an ocean. Maybe, if you are trying to be wordier than you need to, you might say "an ocean of sand." But, most of us just say "desert."

Now, I have to give the author(s) the benefit of the doubt and say that it was worded this way intentionally. If it wasn't, oh well. It still spoke to me.

The earth is God's glory. God's glory is the earth. The heavens declare it, the trees clap about it and little children speak (jabber?) of it.

I wonder...instead of praying that God's glory would be shown in any given situation, maybe we should be praying that we would start looking for it. It's already there. The trouble is simply that we keep looking at other things.

No fear in love

2008-06-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

A few Sundays ago, we talked about the "fear of the Lord" and what it means, particularly, compared with Scripture saying that "perfect love drives out fear." Within the confines of our glorious English language (yes, I'm rolling my eyes), it can get a bit confusing. Webster gives us two different definitions of this same word: to have a reverential awe of, and to be afraid of / expect with alarm.

When I came home, I was looking through me medicine cabinet (read: the pile of junk in my bathroom) and came across a light bulb moment. The Vick's VapoRub jar has a warning on it:

"Failure to follow these warnings could result in serious consequences."

That is probably the most concise way of saying what I've been awkwardly rolling around in my brain for some time now. But, it is so hard to comprehend the fact that the God of the Universe doesn't "have it out for me." If that was the case, a few lightning bolts or a snap of His fingers and He wouldn't have to deal with me at all. Instead, He went through hell in my place.

With Paul, though, I remind myself that God's patience does not give me license to be the boss of me. We are all commanded to "be holy," impossible though it may be. The bar is set pretty high. So, if God isn't going to banish His adopted child to eternal separation or zap me with cancer every time I come short, what happens when I fail? Consequences.

When I use Vick's, I am careful to follow the instructions. I don't shove a tablespoon of the stuff up my nose. I don't mix it into my tea. I don't put gobs of it on my newborn. Why? The bottle said so. I respect the fact that whoever wrote those guidelines did so because they knew something that I didn't. They knew what VapoRub was good for and what its limitations were. They knew that anything outside of those boundaries could quickly turn a helpful product into a life-threatening substance. I know that the creators of Vick's won't come slap my hand if I use it wrongly; they don't have to. Out of my reverence for the author, I am afraid of the consequences.

If I have such respect for some random scientists that I have no experience with, how much more should I respect the Author of life itself? We have been given a guidebook full of instructions for our lives. God proved with His sacrifice on Calvary that He does not intend to smack us back into reality every time we step outside of His boundaries. He doesn't have to. Failure to follow His instructions will result in serious consequences. Out of my reverence for the Author, I am afraid of the consequences.

Even the history of the nation of Israel displays this truth. Had they followed instructions, they wouldn't have wandered in the desert, wouldn't have been enslaved so many times, wouldn't have become corrupted by outside influence. Solomon knew this when he wrote, "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of understanding." I am not scared of my God. His love is too perfect for me to be afraid. On the contrary, respecting God's authority and shuddering at your own stupidity is just a start. And, you can't get far without a start.

I Found My Basketball

2008-05-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

I've finally figured it out.

For nearly three years, my husband has played basketball nearly every night. I've never understood how he could play to the point of exhaustion, play some more, then play the next night. I didn't get why he kept playing when it frustrated him at times. And, I especially didn't understand how he could play in the awful, Arkansas heat. He has always said that he "feels" God the most when he is playing basketball totally immersed in the moment. I would smile and nod, but not have a clue what he was saying.

It really frustrated me, more than anything, that I didn't have a "basketball" outside of enjoying my son. There was no hobby that made me push myself, no game to play or thing to create or anything. Sure, scrap booking is neat. Writing is okay. Eh.

Not anymore.

Today, when I was furiously rolling out tortillas- my first ever- while my whole pregnant body ached and protested, I got it. I finally understood what it was to push your mind and body to its limits with some goal in mind. Apparently, I'd never paid attention to this before. But, it's always been that way for me. If I spend time working and creating something in the kitchen, I expect something of it. If it comes out poorly- even slightly- it is incredibly frustrating to me, and I can't wait to try it again.

In the back of my mind, I've always had a hunch that our Creator-God put a bit of that desire to create inside of all of us. Whether it is putting together a team for a game or a recipe for dessert, being "made in His image" seems to have left a little mark of artistic drive on some part of our being. My only problem with that theory was that I didn't seem to have it. Now, I know better. Art is more than paints and brushes or music or literature. Art is something deeper.

It is an irresistible urge to be part of the creative process. (In fact, I sometimes wonder if a high sex drive is part of that!) It is a mark that we belong to the Ultimate Designer. You don't have to be good at your art. You just have to love it. To quote a lyricist who was exceptionally good at his art and now plays directly for his Artist, Larry Norman, "To live's a privelige; to love is such an art."

Now that I have discovered my own art, I anxiously await the next time I can hone it. I can't help but picture our Artist feeling the same about His creative work. Can you see the twinkle in His eye? Can you hear His soft gasp of excitement when we come to Him, ready to be molded and shaped?

The previously quoted lyrics are followed by a line that sums it all up for me:

"To live's a privilege; to love is such an art. But, I need your help to start. Oh, please purify my heart; I am Your servant."

Honesty

2008-02-27T08:39:00.000-08:00

(I thought about titling this "Pregnancy," but it's really about more than just the one issue. Although pregnancy is what my mind has been wrapped up with lately, I'll try not to stay so boxed into the one example.)

When I was pregnant with my first (wow! I can say that now.), it really bothered me when people had so many negative things to say. "You're HUGE!" "I bet you're dying in this heat." "I swelled up so big when I was pregnant..." "You're probably ready to be done, aren't you?" "Yeah, I wanted a natural birth, too. Just wait until those contractions start."

And I found myself echoing their sentiments, almost subconciously. It was like I had to think those things. It was normal. Even worse, I found those very words coming out of my mouth. I was ingrained with the idea that pregnancy and birth were a trial that you must go through to enjoy a baby- and don't get anyone started on how incredibly awful it is to not get any sleep once the baby is born!

It wasn't until later that the words of sweet midwives and mamas finally cut past all of that nonsense. Sure, I might swell a little. I might even have a hard time working through labor. But, isn't it amazing that I can carry a little life inside of me, bring them into the world and then be their source of support and comfort for years before they finally grow into adults? Why spend my time moaning and groaning about life when the best parts of it are right now?

I guess all of this culminated when I saw a pregnancy site attempting to deter teen pregnancy. If that was my goal, I think that I would write about how difficult it is to juggle a baby and highschool/college/finances at that stage of life and, instead, encourage them to wait until they are settled with a supportive husband and steady income. This site, however, took a different route. They detailed all of the "side-effects" of pregnancy, with the hope that it would sound so terrible that no young girl in her right mind would want to experience it. The big problem with this? Say that young girl does wait and is now a young married woman. Pregnancy is still a big monster to her, and she will spend her time trying to escape it rather than embrace it, which will ultimately rob her of the beautiful experience that God planned for her.

This same tactic has been used regarding countless things. Boys are icky; girls have cooties. Dating will ruin your life. Drugs and alcohol aren't fun. Sex is dirty.

Where is the honesty? At what point could we not be open with our kids and say, "Drugs and alcohol might be fun, but they are very dangerous. Overuse them, and you will find yourself sick or dead. It's not worth the fleeting enjoyment." When could we not tell them, "Dating might lead you to a good spouse, but it might not. Pray about the way that God really wants you to go about this. I'll be praying, too, and we'll work through this time, together." And why in the world can't kids know that sex is an awesome thing designed for marriage?

I know, I know, "Just wait. You don't have teenagers. You don't know what it's like." That's very true. My kid isn't two yet. He can still kiss every girl (and boy) that he meets and it's adorable. But, as a relatively young mom with my teenage years just behind me, I think my perspective is just as relevant.

And, really, don't you prefer honesty, too?

We voted

2008-02-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

Fuzzy just "voted" for the 3rd time in his life. I say that jokingly, of course, but in a way, it's very true. When I vote, I do so with him and his future in mind. This time, I left with full confidence that- apart from what anyone else in the country will do- I voted for the right guy. His campaign has been sabotaged, his credibility questioned, yet he still marches on. I don't even want to watch election coverage tonight, because I am afraid that big media won. They convinced enough people that there wasn't a chance in the world, even though he regularly beat out Giuliani and Thompson (and their resignations supposedly came as a "surprise").

If you have yet to decide or if you are curious as to why I feel this way, here are links to the two most recent GOP debates. The first was on CNN, and you can blatantly see that they picked McCain and Romney to be the focal points. Ron Paul was skipped multiple times and not allowed to backtrack. Even Huckabee didn't get a fair shake, and I don't really care for the guy. However, it showed, yet again, the true natures of McCain and Romney. These are the men trying to claim that they will be leaders, yet they can't even let the other finish a sentence. How are we to believe that they can work with a democratic Congress to accomplish anything? How are we to believe that they will be diplomatic with countries who do not always agree with us? I saw two children on that stage, fighting over a favorite toy. I cannot vote for that. http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/01/30/GOPdebate.transcript/

The second was put on by MTV, and neither Romney nor McCain accepted the invitation. They have no interest in reaching the younger generation. This was, by far, the best structure that I've seen. Each candidate was questioned alone, so their viewpoints were heard without interjection. There was no backbiting or namecalling, just the issues. Maybe that's why Mitt and John stayed away. They didn't know what to do with themselves.

http://www.myspace.com/election2008 (note: this is the full video. Huckabee and Paul go first, so you don't necessarily need to watch the whole thing if you are voting Republican. for highlights, go to http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1580847/20080202/id_0.jhtml )

However you vote, be sure that you can leave that ballot in the box without reservation. Don't vote for someone that you doubt should be president. Fuzzy's future is on the line.

Election year

2008-01-05T21:27:00.001-08:00

Now that we've entered the year of elections, it's time to put our thinking caps on. Though the November election has the final say, the primaries and caucuses may be even more important. On both sides, the floor is wide open for a number of candidates. The trick here is to vote independently of anyone else's opinion. Forget what you think you know about who will or won't do well in the primaries. Forget about who your neighbor likes or who Iowa or New Hampshire likes. You find out who you think will be the best president, and vote.
In case you missed it (since I'm pretty sure most who read this lean conservatively), here is the transcript of tonight's Republican debate in New Hampshire. Skim it, google the candidates, start praying, and make sure you are ready to vote on your primary date.

Oh, and if you care at all, we are supporting Ron Paul.

Lovely. We haven't got a chance.

2007-11-29T11:46:00.000-08:00

Excerpt from last night's GOP debate:

MR. GIULIANI: What I -- what I'm suggesting is if you --
MR. ROMNEY: No, no, let's -- that's -- that's what -- (inaudible).
MR. GIULIANI: -- if you -- if you -- if -- if you are -- if you are going to -- (cheers, applause) --
MR. ROMNEY: Let me -- let me just --
MR. GIULIANI: If you -- if you are going to take --
MR. ROMNEY: Let me finish the rest of my story.
MR. GIULIANI: If you're going to take --
MR. ROMNEY: Let me finish the rest of --

------------------

Wow. And these are supposed to be front-runners? Nice.

14 Months, 1 Day...

2007-11-27T08:46:00.001-08:00

...Of nursing. By some standards, that's 2 Months, 1 Day too long. By others, we're way overdue for weaning. Still others don't care what we do in private but cringe that we'd dare bring such a practice into public. Me? I really couldn't care less. Neither should you.

Here is the thing: things change. "Normal" changes. And, contrary to popular belief, change doesn't happen overnight. There is always a transitional phase. No one ever claimed that it would be comfortable or easy. But, we all know that change is necessary.

We are at a tipping point. At one time in our recent past, few would dream of nursing in public. Then, it was okay as long as you and your child were heavily barracaded with coverage. Now, despite the tireless efforts of the formula industry, States have developed laws protecting breastfeeding mamas- no matter how covered or uncovered she is.

That's not to say that we don't face struggles, though. There is an entire generation of folks still around who are "not used to" breasts being used for their ultimate purpose. Though most locations will support a nursing pair, there are still people and places who don't quite know how to react when they catch glimpse of a baby at the breast.

The easy way out would be to run. Leave the room; grab the big blanket; hide from the world. Let me be clear: if that is how you are comfortable, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. However, hiding just because others are uncomfortable does nothing to help anyone. I'm not saying that we should be as exposed as possible just to throw it in their faces, but accommodating that discomfort will only tip the scales right back the other way.

Breastfeeding isn't the only area of life in which this applies. In another article, I related it this way: "Jesus wasn't socially acceptable. I refuse to conform to society's standards of right and wrong, refined and uncouth. As long as we pander to society, society will never change."

David danced in his boxers while his wife turned red from embarrasment. Esther defied tradition by approaching the king- her husband- with an accusation against his closest advisor. Ruth abandoned social order to seek marriage with Boaz in order to save her mother-in-law's name, and her courage resulted in the lineage of Joseph. This brave man took a teenage mother into his home, when he could've killed her, and served as step-father to God-With-Us- Immanuel. .

Jesus- who represented a people of contradictions, revolutions and oddities- became the ultimate Social Nightmare. He condemned legalism and lived love. His followers were accused of "turning the world upside down." Even when the world denies His deity and misses the power of His death and resurrection, most still admit that He changed the world.

Nothing about the God of Christianity asks us to remain stagnant. We have a long battle ahead of us. This is more than just bottle vs. breast. This is about a deep, spiritual battle regarding sexual purity. As long as the only images of breasts (partial or full) that we see and accept are in a sexual context, breastfeeding will be awkward for some.

Ignore it. Defy it. Change it.

New setup

2007-11-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

I'm shifting my rants and musings to blogspot so that Xanga can be freed up for pictures (yes, I'll get a digital camera soon) and quirky anecdotes.