"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

This is my 2010.

This season is hard. I will look back with fondness and a smirk, but it will be past.

Returning...

Priorities get so jumbled so fast. Frustrations take over, blinders go up...the longer I am away, the harder it is to return. Refocusing, relearning, returning...

My 15 month old gets it-

Thank you, Jesus, for the day. A-MEN!

My 39 month old gets it-

Thank you, Jesus, for the Mommy-people. Thank you for the Daddy-people. Thank you for the Izzy-people. Thank you for the Nate-people. Thank you for the Monsters. Thank you for the Aliens. Thank you for the wall. Thank you for the phone...

And we are supposed to be teaching them. Ha.

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-fuzzy hair standing on end after a bath
-requests for naptime
-surprise visits
-surprise provision
-quick lunches, healthy babies
-timely messages
-quiet reminders
-snuggles and snores
-renewed determination
-patience offered
-plans coming together
-ancient wisdom
-new perspectives
-new ventures
-new lives
-new mercies

Distracted

New hobbies, old friends and young kids have stood in the way of me and my blogging ventures...but I'm not complaining. Just a note to add in my multitude of gratitude:

Two warm babies and too hot muffins
Big dreams and little snores
Soft tissues and tough toes
Teeth coming and phases leaving
Storytime and naptime
Mispronunciation "Wanna howd you bew-lly"
Clothes to mend and gifts to lend
 Birthdays and vacation days
Pie and turkey
Turkey and pie
Brilliant minds and vegan "butter"
Community
Consistency
Chaos
Clean

gritting my teeth, looking for gratitude

11. Boys who play so mommy can play

I am learning to knit in the round, particularly making socks.  It's nice to be able to create, to busy my hands with soft fabrics and useful results.

12. Friends sharing tips, tricks and threads

It has been too long since I've just visited with mama friends. This one is chock full of knitting knowledge and shared some of her wisdom (and yarn!).

13. Second chances

No pretty pictures or profound encouragement in the afternoon here...just a broken mama with two tired (but napless) kids, missing the patience that must be buried somewhere beneath the tears and the tired and the torn...

14. Timing and safety

Trying to escape, reminded I'm not in control...

14. New tires, a good movie in the lobby
15. Babyhawk

The first movie all wee, .85 poptarts and .75 sprite, cuddled kiddo in the babyhawk...kept them content during the wait.

God, keep me content during the wait...

The Discipline of Gratitude

On a dreary Monday morning, it's so easy to slip into melancholy mumbling.

My toes are cold.

I want to stay in bed.

The boys can't go out to play.

We won't be able to rake leaves to build our compost tonight.

As I play on the internet and put off my list of busy-ness, a quote at Ann's site jars me:

"Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic." - John Henry Jowett

And so, today I join the community of gratitude, shifting my eyes from the mud to the stars.

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     1. Waking up snuggled warm
     2. An empty wall, heads full of dreams
     3. Growing boys, hungry tummies
     4. Asks instead of squeals
     5. My little pretend Knight
     6. My big Real Knight
     7. Shared Oatmeal
     8. Donated treasures
     9. God-made connections
     10. New hobbies, old knowledge

Guest Blogger

I'd intended to write something deep and meaningful, but this guest photoblogger just insisted on sharing his work. Enjoy!

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My name is Johnathan Eric, but you can call me Nate.

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This is Izzy-rael. He's just a baby.

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This is Daddy.


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Him and Mommy are making a compos' pile outside so we can grow food.


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Mommy likes food.

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So does Daddy.

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We have worked...



...and worked...



...and worked.

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We all help to get it done.



I like to take pictures.

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I try to take pictures of Nate.



Sometimes it doesn't work.



Izzy-rael did it, though.



I just keep trying.



Until I get it right, I take pictures of my family...

What do YOU like to take pictures of? Say, GREEN!!

Boycotting Nestle? How about a nail in that coffin...

By now, you are likely one of the thousands who have been following Jaeli's story either on Angela's site or on one of the sites (AOL, Reuters, Type-A-Mom or any number of others, even in Spanish!) that have spread like wildfire over the internet in the past few weeks. If not, the brief summary is this:

Jaeli is sick. Only three other human beings have this level of chromosome disorder. As such, she has many health problems, one of which that she is about five months old and weighs less than ten pounds. Her ultra-sensitive body has only tolerated breastmilk without serious "side effects"- or reactions, depending on how you'd like to define it. Unfortunately, high calorie breastmilk is not easy to come by, especially when State Medicaid refuses to cover it. (Apparently, government efficiency deems it better to pay for hospitalization, round-the-clock care and response to reactions side effects than to just purchase breastmilk...but, I digress)

After a series of trials of both the literal and figurative sort, Jaeli was sent home with a prescription of two doses Neocate, in spite of Jaeli's response to it, to one dose high calorie breastmilk. The benefits of a mother's milk for this little one cannot be ignored. Since that time, even this prescription has been questioned. The only substance on earth that does not cause this child pain is the only substance that powerful entities will not provide.

As concern spread that Jaeli would not have access to the $4.25/oz breastmilk that required up-front payment, people started to come forth. At first, we looked for a Medicaid exemption long-term and corporations to sponsor Jaeli short-term. After all, they can do more than any individual could possibly imagine, right?

Wrong.

The majority of requests went out to Nestle. As 70,000+ people were reached via Twitter in a matter of days, Nestle's twitter account and email account were flooded, as well. They have had some bad publicity lately, and a large segement of the population has boycotted them for some time. What better way to turn the tides than to openly back the claim that "breast is best"?

While Nestle remained silent, the people gave.

Some only had enough for an ounce- $4.25. Others decided to give Jaeli nourishment than spend hat $20 on a pizza. Still others came forward with more. Hundreds of individual donations poured in, and within forty-eight hours, Jaeli had milk for a week.

While Nestle contemplated, the people shared.

Jaeli's story spread all over the internet. A Facebook Cause was opened, Jaeli's Syndrom, and it quickly garnered over $1000 in donations, and the number continues growing. The single corporate influence in this to this point has been a donation of a pump and lactation consultant by Medela so that Jaeli's mom can work to increase her own milk supply. All other efforts were put forth by individuals. Everyone is talking about Jaeli. Even an up and coming artist is donating proceeds to Jaeli's cause.

Today, Nestle responded.

You might've received an email similar to this at about 3 PM EST:

I have been following the information about Jaeli and her sensitive condition. We hear from many parents about special situations and we treat each request with great concern and attention. I understand your request for our support in providing what Jaeli's parent(s) believe to be best for their baby. We empathize with the situation but need to respect the professional recommendation of Jaeli’s doctors who are closest to the situation and must have her best interest at heart. Our thoughts are with Jaeli and her family.

While I will spare you my general disdain for corporations and the medical "industry" as a partnering whole, I am sure that you feel the same condescension and callousness that I did when this hit my inbox. The implication is that the parents have blown this out of proportion; that they believe one thing to be the best when the medical community says another. Doctor knows best.

Nestle, with flippant ignorance, blindly assumes that a medical professional would not prescribe breastmilk (however "best" it may be), and if they did do so, that there should be no problem attaining it. They miss the fact that it was prescribed. They dismiss the fact that it has been given to her both on and off hospital premises. They conveniently ignore the fact that breastmilk is saving this little girl's life.

Imagine that. God-given sustenance over corporate-created synthetics.

And now, while Nestle disregards anyone who questions an imitation, I say we disregard Nestle. As I type this, Jaeli's account at the Ohio Milk Bank is increasing by more than $16,000. Individuals who see, individuals who care, individuals who sacrificially gave of their budget so that sacrificially given milk would make it to Jaeli's delicate little body.

This is Jaeli's story.

Sadly, Jaeli's story is not the only tragedy. Milk banks see this kind of dilemma every day. When a child is hurting, corporations and government bodies are not the be all end all solution. Many times, they don't even take note.

Jaeli's story speaks to the need for awareness and support of milk banks, but it shouts from the rooftops the need for and power of outreached arms. It is people reaching out to people who make the difference. Who is the Jaeli in your life? Who is reaching out for help while the powers that be brush them away?